From dragging their feet upstairs to requesting one more book, bedtime is often when many parents struggle the most. Let’s talk about some ways you can put an end to these battles & get your little one to sleep quicker.
Bedtime can be a true nightmare. Winding down from the day is not easy and it can lead to one of the greatest power struggles between parents & their children.
What makes bedtime battles even more challenging is knowing the effects of poor sleep on our little ones. These include, but are not limited to,:
- Decreased immune responses
- Difficulty managing weight & healthy growth patterns
- Decreased brain development
- Increased negative emotions & behavior
- Increased learning difficulties
While there are many reasons that toddlers & young children push back when we try to put them down at night, ultimately, the key to putting an end to the bedtime battle is establishing a bedtime routine.
What Is A Bedtime Routine & Why Do We Need One?
Routines train our brain and, the more we follow them, the easier the task, chore and, in this case, functional need becomes. A bedtime routine is simply what we do, everyday, to let our bodies know it is time for bed.
How Long Should A Bedtime Routine Last?
Your child’s bedtime routine will change as they grow but what probably will not change is the length of time it takes to complete it. 10-15 mins is sufficient. This keeps your child moving through each task with minimal time for distraction or opportunity to drag it out.
How To Establish A Bedtime Routine For Children
Let’s take a look at the four main steps to establishing your child’s bedtime routine. For me, it has taken a lot of trial and error and I can, by no means, claim to have it down pact even several years later, however, it is amazing how quickly your child will respond as you follow them.
1. Set The Non-Negotiables
It is well-known that toddlers are tiny dictators and, as I am learning with my 5-year old, they don’t grow out of it quickly. How many items in the routine list, how many books to be read, when the lights go out; these are things that you should be deciding.
While we love our kids and want to spend more time with them, we all know they can drag it out until the end of time. Establishing these non-negotiables will eventually eliminate phrases like, “Just one more book!”, or, “5 more minutes of cuddles.”
2. Let Them Choose The Rest
After you have determine the non-negotiables, let your child have the freedom of choice. They could choose which books are read, what pajamas they will wear and who turns the light out. Children love feeling like they are in control and, by capitalizing on that, we can minimize tantrums and allow for smoother sleep.
3. Be Consistent
What is a routine without consistency? This is the most important thing you can do to help your child develop better sleep habits. Now that you have your order of events for the evening, do your best to complete them in that order each night.
You want to put on jammies before they’ve brushed their teeth; think again! Your child will learn quickly what to expect and will often hold you to the standard to ensure things flow correctly. This is so important though because they are taking ownership of part of their day and it makes for smoother transition to sleep which is the ultimate goal anyway.
4. Be Flexible
I know it sounds almost contradictory to talk about flexibility in a routine, especially, after just stating that you need to be consistent but hear me out. We all go through various sleep cycles throughout the night and your child will most likely experience sleep regressions too.
Let’s not forget that there will be times that your child goes through a growth spurt, becomes ill or other situations that you can’t control. In these times, hang on and ride the wave, you can always pick the routine up when the storm passes.
A Sample Bedtime Routine For Your Toddler
- Diaper Change/Use the Toilet
- Brush Teeth & Hair
- Pajamas
- Bedtime Stories
- Lullaby/Cuddle
- Lights Out
A Sample Bedtime Routine For Your School-Aged Child
- Pajamas
- Brush Teeth & Hair
- Use the Toilet
- Quiet Time in Bedroom/Bedtime Story
- Quick Chat/Cuddle…I still, occasionally, sing.
- Lights Out
What about Bath Time?
While some children are relaxed or wound down by the water, mine turns into a wild fish. For this reason, in my household, bath time is not an evening or daily occurrence so I didn’t include it in my bedtime routine. Honestly, it can be a routine of it’s own but, you set the non-negotiables so, if you want to add it go right ahead!
Let’s Wrap This Up
There is hope when it comes to squashing bedtime strife and turning it into a wonderful opportunity for you to connect with your little one before they drift off to sleep. We can do this by:
- Setting Non-Negotiables (how long, how many, when)
- Allowing Choice (which books, which pajamas, who does what)
- Being Consistent (same time, same order)
- Being Flexible
I’d love to know how you handle bedtime battles & what your child’s bedtime routine looks like these days. I hope you’ve found these tips useful and am interested to hear how they work for you; let me know in the comments!
Leave a Reply